.contrasts.

I feel like Im living a bit in contrasts these days...
alot of moments where i think to myself "well on one hand... but then again, on the other hand...."

Like how we wrapped up our our last of 9 weeks straight of teams, finishing up a long run of teams. Ending a season...
Then shortly after hosted the first ever local youth camp. Two houses built by local mexican youth.
The first steps in an amazing new chapter of the ministry. Starting a new season...

Another example, Im sad to see that our extended staff are leaving us, returning back to their homes. Our team of interns are wrapping up their time here and many have already left us. We had a team of 10 youth from Canada, US, and Mexico serving together - working hard behind the scenes, selflessly giving themselves to the ministry. What a gang they were! But aside from working together, we also lived together, played together, celebrated together, wrestled together. It's a beautiful thing really! It will be sad to see them all go. They bring so much joy to my days!
But this community thing can be exhausting! I'll be excited to have my own space... to not be accountable for 10 to 100 other people. Maybe just a handful will be nice for now. I'm ready to know that if there are dished in the sink, I can only blame myself... Im ready to be able to walk around the house in my pjs without someone walking in. I'm ready to answer a few less questions in the day...
But then how long will that peace and quiet turn to eery silence... or lonliness...
The contrast of embracing the quiet peace of the camp, but also missing the joy and activity of teams and visitors!

The contrast of knowing this is where I need and want to be right now, but that there are some things back 'home' in Ontario that are pulling upon my heart. Some difficult news from home regarding my mother's health is racing through my head, but for now, we wait... Wanting to enjoy this season of preparation and planning here in Mexico, but not sure where I should be and where...

The contrast of wrestling with personal finances... not really being able to get ahead and tackle those debts and get what I all need [want] .. but also still living in abundance and richness compared to the people I'm serving here in Mexico.

So many interesting contrasts.
But I suppose that's the beauty of life. ups and downs. pulls and pushes. changes. growing. stretching.
it's what keeps you awake, alive, fresh.
and to be grateful - content whatever the circumstances...