.sometimes its hard.

Sometimes it's hard when you can't help everyone.
As the winter season approaches, we get more requests for help. Yes, there is an actual winter here in Ensenada - It's no Ontario winter, but it does get colder and rainer, especially as our weather patterns seem to get even stranger these days, we've had wetter winters. When rain hits us, the drainage systems are terrible, many houses are equipped with inadequate roofs, and many field workers are left unemployed. Many days in the winter season people are cold. wet. hungry.

The other day a tired, weary, couple came to the gate of the camp. Before I had a good 'excuse'. When I wasn't able to speak spanish very well I didn't usually have to tackle the tough gate conversations. We strive to help people in a sustainable, empowering, "hand up" not "hand out" kinda way. We work behind local pastors - equipping them to be the front line. We typically don't keep extra food to hand out at the camp or try to avoid taking on direct requests from families who come with needs to the camp. We desire to work in partnership and community with our pastors. We desire to be about relationship with people, not just give them what they need and never see them again. And even with that aside, we don't have the resources to help everyone. We can't keep up with all the needs. there will never be enough food to hand out. there will never be enough clothes to offer. there will never be enough money to fix all the roofs and houses.

Sometimes when people come asking for money or food, I gently explain what we can or cannot offer and I carry on with my day. Sometimes I'll offer what I personally can or although we don't encourage handing out food - will search around for some leftovers to offer them something. But these people come and go. And I carry on.

But back to the tired, weary couple the other day. It was a rainy cold day. They looked like they may have walked a ways to get here. They began to timidly share their story. Desperate. Hopeless. Tired. It wasn't a crazy drastic story - one that sadly I hear too often. Their house's roof isn't good - has leaks and when it rains the rain was pouring down unto their bed. Their daughter was getting sick from the rain. The father could barely speak from a terrible cold. I pulled in a fellow staff member into the conversation and began to explain our limitations of what we could do and suggested some next steps to get connected with some help. He understood we maybe couldn't do anything but he explained he was just desperate. He needed to do something, anything he could to help his family. He began to weep.

My heart ached.
I wanted to gather my friends together, grab some materials from the shop, jump in a truck and just fix the roof.
I wanted to buy some blankets and prepare a pot of soup for them.
I wanted to tell them everything was going to be okay.
But I couldn't.
But we did pray for them. Hugged them. Found some food for them. Gave them some phone numbers. Took down their information.
Hopefully gave them some hope.
Something.

I guess that's what it's about right?
Maybe we can't fix everyone's roof, but we can offer something. Time. A smile. A hug. A cup of coffee. Dignity.
I definitely prefer the moments where we hand over the keys to a new house. and everything feels perfect. at least for that moment.
But the tough ones, the ones where the couple has to walk away empty handed, remind me of why Im here.
The ache motivates me.
It reminds me there's more to do.
And there's always something we can offer.

.cait.

I'd like everyone to meet my friend Caitlin.
She's all sorts of wonderful and she wrote a post on her blog (one of the few blogs i really follow) that I thought deserved some sharing. She's a fantastic writer.

Check it out http://furtherdowntheroad.wordpress.com/2010/10/31/wanting/

.return.

As I write this I sit in the Buffalo Airport gearing up for my full day of travels. I always find myself wishing I could teleport...But later tonight I’ll be back in Ensenada, right back at it, hosting a team, enjoying the warm(er) weather, reuniting with mis amigos, catching up, and starting another chapter.

My time at home as been so refreshing. I must admit, after my mom died I wanted to cancel my trip to Ontario that I had planned. I didn’t want to preach, I didn’t want to get on a plane again, I didn’t want to feel more unsettled. But it was so great to be back home. Home... it’s such a changing word. I think I wrote about that a few times before. Although southern ontario will always be home, Mexico truly is my home for now. And I am anxious to get back into the swing of things with my peeps at the EOC.

As I look back on the last month of my traveling adventures here’s just a few of my favorite moments. I managed to bring my camera with me, without my battery charger... so I’ll have to just capture the moments in my memory this time.

- my pre-canada 5 day adventure in Virginia Beach! Beach front condo, fantastic people, and mi Nonita!
- fall colors. i forgot how gorgeous the leaves and tress are!
- deep rich conversations...catching up beyond the small talk...
- sharing a bit of my country with mi amiga Sandy
- the incredible ‘homecoming’ I always get at the Square.
- my dad getting to see me preach
- my Niagara Falls weekend adventure with Maddie & Sandy
- hot tub and wine with my sis-in-law
- going to the cemetery to visit my mom’s gravesite. not exactly fun, but good to do...
- hanging out with my various kiddies - from corn mazes to trick or treating!
- God’s provision in opening up new doors of financial support...amazing friends willing to go to bat for me...
- porch talks and debriefing with Maja... like the good ol’ days
- surprising God encounters through a good book, prayer times, conversations, or even in the many drives around ontario

Thanks to all those who have been so wonderful to me in these days. Taking me out for coffee, checking in, financial support, laughing with me until my belly hurts, praying for my family, crying with me or for me, missing me, loving me. I have felt so blessed by the many people I have who are on my team. I couldn’t have gotten through these last 2 months without you all.

So I think Im ready. Creo que estoy lista! Hope you are ready to join with me on my continued journeys in Mexico!
Vamos!

.inside peek.

Want a little inside peek at some of the action that happens at the EOC when there aren't teams in.. check out this video blog we put together. Note the part where it shows some staff apartments being built! woohoo! Definitely looking forward to the sweet new digs!

Anywho, for now enjoy the video! More to come soon on my adventures visiting Ontario!

.my mom.

IN MEMORY OF ADA ELGERSMA...

Saturday September 11 I received a phone call you never want to receive. “You better come home Rhonda. Your mom may not make it.” We had discovered just a month previous my mom had cancer. We knew it wasn’t likely going to be a hopeful prognosis. We’d just discovered days before that it was stage 4 breast cancer and had spread to various parts of her body. We were just accepting this news that my mom was on a journey to death, when an infection rushed her to an emergency surgery that changed the coarse of action. My family living in various parts of Canada, US, and Mexico rushed home in chance it was our last chance to say goodbye.

My mom did make it through the surgery okay, but her body was tired and her spirit was weary. She had been fighting and wrestling for years already - suffering from chronic arthritis pain that had essentially limited her mobility to her house. My mom told my dad she was ready to see her Maker. She was ready to go. We had precious moments of saying goodbyes, sitting with her, praying with her, laughing with her. We were ready to release her into a life of freedom... The doctor warned us although her spirit was ready her body may take some time to let go. We began to pray God would take her quickly and quietly so there would be no more suffering. God answered our prayers and took her home September 17. Mi mama es libre! My mom is free!

At the time I write this I am still recovering from the whirlwind of the last 10 days. Ups & downs, tears & joys, precious time with my family, experiencing emotions I never knew I had...It’s been exhausting but also been humbling to see the love, support and prayers from so many people - from old school friends, to church communities, to EOC partners and teams. What an amazing example of community. Thank you so much! I am sure I’ll be continuing to rely on you all as I walk through this process of grieving.

My mom was always proud of my work and ministry. She never got to witness my work first hand but always knew what was happening at the EOC and supported me faithfully. In honor of my mom, you can make a donation to my ministry with EOC YUGO. Help make an eternal difference in our broken world. Thank you for those who already have made a donation. I am completely humbled by the generosity of people in my life. Paying for flights, driving over an hour just to give me a hug, making yourself available, driving me places, feeding us, donations, prayers, emails... Its been an incredible outpouring of support. And I need it all more than ever, so thank you.

For more information/photos/tributes - you can go to www.cooperfuneralhome.ca (online condolences)

I will be returning to reconnect with my Mexico family for a few weeks. And then back to Ontario for most of October some previously planned visits to churches and partners. I am blessed to have such great communities of people all over the world who will be loving me along this journey...

.contrasts.

I feel like Im living a bit in contrasts these days...
alot of moments where i think to myself "well on one hand... but then again, on the other hand...."

Like how we wrapped up our our last of 9 weeks straight of teams, finishing up a long run of teams. Ending a season...
Then shortly after hosted the first ever local youth camp. Two houses built by local mexican youth.
The first steps in an amazing new chapter of the ministry. Starting a new season...

Another example, Im sad to see that our extended staff are leaving us, returning back to their homes. Our team of interns are wrapping up their time here and many have already left us. We had a team of 10 youth from Canada, US, and Mexico serving together - working hard behind the scenes, selflessly giving themselves to the ministry. What a gang they were! But aside from working together, we also lived together, played together, celebrated together, wrestled together. It's a beautiful thing really! It will be sad to see them all go. They bring so much joy to my days!
But this community thing can be exhausting! I'll be excited to have my own space... to not be accountable for 10 to 100 other people. Maybe just a handful will be nice for now. I'm ready to know that if there are dished in the sink, I can only blame myself... Im ready to be able to walk around the house in my pjs without someone walking in. I'm ready to answer a few less questions in the day...
But then how long will that peace and quiet turn to eery silence... or lonliness...
The contrast of embracing the quiet peace of the camp, but also missing the joy and activity of teams and visitors!

The contrast of knowing this is where I need and want to be right now, but that there are some things back 'home' in Ontario that are pulling upon my heart. Some difficult news from home regarding my mother's health is racing through my head, but for now, we wait... Wanting to enjoy this season of preparation and planning here in Mexico, but not sure where I should be and where...

The contrast of wrestling with personal finances... not really being able to get ahead and tackle those debts and get what I all need [want] .. but also still living in abundance and richness compared to the people I'm serving here in Mexico.

So many interesting contrasts.
But I suppose that's the beauty of life. ups and downs. pulls and pushes. changes. growing. stretching.
it's what keeps you awake, alive, fresh.
and to be grateful - content whatever the circumstances...

.another season.

Can ya even believe it? Another month has flown by and another summer season about to wrap up. 9 weeks straight of teams from all over the States & Canada. (And one more next week from Mexico!) Phew! It is with a little bit of a sigh of relief that the busy season is coming to an end. The early mornings, late nights, dishes to wash, questions to answer, lunches to pack, coffee to make, nails to hammer... it’s been a full summer!

But on the other hand you can never grow tired of seeing the keys being passed around for a new home, or the embrace of a child, or hearing testimonies of team members, or watching a team of interns work and serve hard. It’s a real joy and honor to get to be apart of all the activities, ministry, and community of this place.

Next week we are excited to launch our first ever Mexican Youth Camp! Due to the generosity of others, we have two houses sponsored to be built by local youth! We are excited to open this new chapter!

We have already begun planning, dreaming, and thinking ahead to the next season. Ideas on how to serve the teams, staff, and community better and more effectively. And really the ministry doesn’t stop.... maybe the pace changes, or the work of visiting teams slows down... but the needs of the people

here in Ensenada continue and so does our work.

But I won't complain when we get some vacation time at the end of August either. Woohoo!

Sleep is near my friends, sleep is near!